WATER WATER EVERY WHERE

In an attempt to quell outrage that the government was not doing enough for flood hit areas, Hilary Benn, the new Environment Secretary, announced an aid package which he said would alleviate all the problems faced by the likes of Hull and Sheffield.

The list of aid includes:

1. Wellies
2. Sponges
3. Buckets
4. Rubber yellow ducks
5. Snorkels
6. Flippers
7. Umbrellas
8. Bubble bath
9. Towels
10. Paddling pools
11. Water

In addition to the aid package, Benn appointed a “Rain Czar”, a Mr Noah, and a “Leaking Damn Czar”, a Mr Dutch Boy.