Most news papers this week had page on page of Boris Yeltsin obituaries. The death of anyone is always a shame, especially if you lived in Chechnya when Boris sent the troops in or had a young son in the Russian army when the local population had the nerve to fight back. Let’s also not forget the thousands who have been either killed or forced into the sex trade by the Russian Mafia which dominates and really governs the old Soviet nations. Whilst Yeltsin may have been at the forefront of the fight to end communism, he was also at head of the queue when the bribes were being handed out. This then is his true legacy, not the picture of a knight in shining armoury taking on tanks, as has been depicted by many tabloids.

What the press didn’t reveal however, was that the local authorities refused to cremate Mr Yeltsin as they feared the alcohol in his body would cause the fire to burn out of control. Embalming was also not considered necessary as he had been pickled for a long time. The effects of Mr Yeltsin’s death were also felt in the economic world, where shares in Smirnoff plummeted. As tributes pored in like vodka into a glass, world leaders and politicians were quick to pass comment, with Charles Kennedy saying “he was like a mentor and trainer to me, he taught me all I know”. Charles then hiccupped and fell of his stool. Mr Ivor Corruptov, head of Smirnoff’s Russian division, described Boris as “a friend and best customer”.

Yeltsin now lies in (a) state.