QUOTES OF THE DAY

Today’s quotes come from a free local magazine, the “Harton Handbook”, and concern dubious legal exchanges which have taken place both here and in America.

Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. All my autopsies have been on dead people.

Q. Could you see him from where you were standing?
A. I could see his head
Q. And where was his head?
A. On his shoulders.

Q. Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashin
A. Yes Sir.
Q. Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A. Yes Sir
Q. What did she say?
A. What disco am I at?

And finally

Q Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A. The autopsy started around 8.30 p.m.
Q. And Mr Dunnington was dead at the time?
A. No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an Autopsy.