THE SUNDAY ROAST

Finally having time to catch up on other people’s blogs, I notice that Curly has managed to get one over on the Shields Gazette. Having told us all on Friday that Tory HQ were setting up a research group to keep an eye on David Miliband (both past and present career) the Gazette led with it on Saturday, front page style. Send them a bill Curly, those reporters are being paid for repeating your stories! Perhaps our intrepid blogger also has a crystal ball which allows him to foresee future news stories. If so, lottery numbers and Grand National winners in your next post please! On a more serious note, check out his “shop” for an alternative take on all things South Tyneside, it’s worth a visit.

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A quick perusal of the Sunday papers meets with the usual disdain and anger. The Telegraph carries a good piece on the “dumbing” down of BBC programmes (can they get any dumber?). That much lampooned presenter Fiona Bruce (see “Dead Ringers” on BBC 2) has had to allow her “Real Story” current affairs programme to give way to the likes of programmes about fat people who own fat dogs. My own current position finds myself carrying an extra few pounds, and my dog Jess could do with shedding a few Pedigree induced kilos. However, I don’t think the nation would find this particularly interesting. The state of the BBC worries me, and I find myself (when I actually watch television) being drawn more to its digital BBC4 option or documentary and history based channels. I live in fear of turning on BBC 2 at 10.30 p.m. to find the Chuckle Brothers (to me, to you) presenting “NewsNight” or being confronted by the Telly Tubbies doing an undercover investigation for “Panorama” into why Sherbet Dip Dab bags are getting smaller. On the 4^th anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, the BBC presented a “Question Time” special which encapsulated the true essence of the Corporation. The debate was emotional, often angry, but more to the point, it covered all political views on what is an issue which frankly, everyone has a stance on. The irony is that if left in the hands of the current BBC programme commissioners, Dimbleby will be replaced by Richard and Judy with the topic of discussion being whether Tracy Barlow is a psychopath or not.

Moving on from the Telegraph, Wor Lass has just pointed out a story in this weekends Sunday Sun which has drawn giggles of mirth in the Shaw household. Viktor Makarov lives in a Northumberland market town. He describes in his own words how he basically may have been one of Russia’s greatest traitors, revealing KGB secrets to the west for 13 years. Mr Makarov now lives in fear that he may end up like Alexander Litvinenko, poisoned for his views on Russia. As a result of his fears, he spent eight days on hunger strike outside the House of Commons. Frankly, Mr Makarov, you couldn’t have been that much of a spy. Not only have you openly showed your face in public to be identified outside of the Commons (perhaps his reluctance to eat any food stems from the fear of ending up like a day glow pen) but you have also revealed where you live. The only things you left out were your shoe size and telephone number! The fact that today is April Fools Day does worry me a little, but somehow I have the nagging feeling that this story may be true. Perhaps Mr Makarov received his espionage training from Rowan Atkinson’s “Johnny English” creation!

The final story from this weeks Sunday spreads also comes from the Sunday Sun. That great hunk of rusty art, “The Angel of the North”, apparently has crumbling concrete foundations (sounds painful). The damage is caused by the volume a traffic which uses the nearby motorway, the vibrations etc causing the concrete base blocks to crack. The Angel will have to be lifted and its supports replaced. The problems are so severe that engineers are concerned that it will collapse onto the motorway. This issue is to be tackled by reducing traffic through a £10 per day toll, traffic lights or complete closure of the south bound lanes. Now I’m no town planner, but the words “chaos”, “gridlock” and ”road rage” come quickly to mind, together with “people are going to be very late for work!”. Perhaps I might make a constructive suggestion; dismantle the Angel, melt it down and build a metal wall round Mr Makarov’s house!