BLAIR DENIES SMOKING BAN “ANTI SMOKERS”

Tony Blair was today forced to deny that the pending smoking ban was aimed at smokers. Dressed in a Caftan and enjoying a drag from a Hookah with Colonel Gaddafi, brother of Kentucky Fried Chicken head Colonel Sanders, he claimed the changes in the law were aimed “at those people who are to tight to buy their own tabs and breath other peoples smoke in second hand”. Recent research conducted by Gordon “Forty a Day” Brown has shown that the second hand smoke market (or as the Inland revenue call it “passive smoking”) was cheating the tax payer out of millions of pounds in tax revenues. The move would also put a stop to the “Channel Run” where smugglers were brining in second hand French smoke disguised as fog. Blair was adamant that the move was not “Stalinist” and preceded to list places where people can still legally smoke.

1. Underwater
2. Space
3. The top of Everest
4. Coffins
5. Mars
6. Gordon Browns office
7. Liverpool

Blair also announced that Trimdon Labour Club had been given special World Heritage Status and was now a UN Protectorate, there by allowing the consumption of Woodbines and Capstan non-filters.