PRESS WORLD ROCKED
The press world was rocked to its foundations and shares in the paper collapsed today when the Shield’s Gazettes Friday edition contained no reference at all to the children’s gangster David “Noddy” Rice or any members of his family. The papers editor issued the following public statement;
“The Shields Gazette is extremely sorry for this dreadful state of affairs and apologise to our readers unreservedly. A story on the type of washing powder that Mr Rice used to use was sent to the proofreaders for checking, but they fell asleep before they could finish it. Hence editions of the paper hit the street containing nothing but community and relevant news items. All offending editions have been withdrawn from shops, and we are advising all those in possession of a contaminated edition to return it to the shop were they bought it from for a full refund. We have printed a new issue that contains a “Noddy” competition. The question is
FILL IN THE MISSING LETTERS: N O ? ? Y: CLUE THE LETTER FOLLOWS “C” IN THE ALPHABET.
For those readers who inadvertently read the “Noddy Free” edition as it is now known on Ebay, the Gazette have agreed the following compensation package;
2 free vouchers for the special McDonald’s “Noddy” burger
A family day pass to the papers “Noddy World Theme Park”
A scratch and shoot T Shirt, size 0
A first edition of the book “Noddy Rice: The Gazette’s Role In His Martyrdom”
A bag of Rice “Basmati Rice” (crack cocaine)
The matter has been referred to the Press Complaints Commission, who’s spokesman said that such shoddy irresponsible journalism should not be tolerated by the papers advertising revenue department.
CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING POSTS
RISE LIKE LIONS 12.06.07
http://curly15.wordpress.com/2007/06/09/corruption-and-conspiracy/#comments
2 comments:
Sing along, everybody!
"'Cos every issue Curly raised, Shaw was sure to follow..."
So the latest developments of a gangland style murder tale have been replaced by the latest developments on the 'quite busy street' story. Great.
I've just watched the video online, by the way, and despite your assertions, it seems that there aren't more than a handful of drivers who are parking on Station Road, and leaving their cars there all day.
Instead I see a high turnover of cars parking throughout this short video, many of them using the row of shops in question.
Perhaps the real reason you're not pulling in the punters is the competition with the mini-mart a few doors down, which looks slightly more attractive to customers than your rather tatty* shop.
Source: Tyne Tees footage
Hello Lana
It’s always good to get a post, whatever the tone. I glad your such an avid reader, and at least you use a name this time. It’s strange that you seem to want to hide your identity; I don’t, everybody can contact me openly and to be honest they do, but they have the dignity and honesty to do so openly.
Re the shop, we’ve already covered that before.
On the DVD, the footage was halted when the resident realized what he got. I think it’s sad that you have failed to refer to a child nearly being knocked over. What type and person does that make you Lana? You seem a little bit pre occupied.
Nobody wants to see children hurt or killed on the roads of East Boldon, so surely you can even put your obvious personal animosity towards me to one side and support any campaign to make them safer? If you cant, well Lana, there’s not really much hope for you is there?
Remember Lana, if you disagree so much come to the CAF meeting on 21.06.07. Make your self-known and voice your opinion, that’s what it’s all about
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