Inspector McBribe was today called to a London address in an attempt to remove squatters from a government building. Admiralty House, an upmarket building run by the home group ”TaxPayersAreUs”, is currently illegally occupied by a group of known public scroungers called the “Prescotts”.
“This group of people are well known to the police for scrounging from the public purse. Not only do they fool the public into paying for free holidays abroad, but they also take over properties which they have no right to live in”.
Questioned through his letter box, the groups leader who chose not to be named, but wanted to be known as “John”, said that he had been ill lately and was unable to leave the flat. When asked about his illness, he claimed to be suffering from a bad case of “over indulgence” and blamed the public for giving him to many free trips abroad.
We managed to speak to “Johns” medical advisor, a Doctor Spin, who issued the following statement;
“I have advised my patient to take things easy and not work to hard. That was why he took the job of Deputy Prime Minister. Lately however, he snapped a nail playing croquet so I recommend complete rest at a well known rehabilitation clinic called “The Commons”. John has recently been released but on examination was found to be suffering from “over indulgitytus”, which can be caused by s******g your secretary too much. I wrote him a prescription for a holiday abroad under the pretext of work, and also advised him not to look for somewhere else to live as this would be to expensive and could lead to his bank account bleeding to death”.
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