LABOUR OFFICIALS GO DUTCH

A Reuter’s press release has just landed on the Lions news desk claiming that Labour officials have joined the Dutch Big Brother programme “The Donor Show”. Produced by the state owned TV network “ClogsRUs”, the show involves a single contestant who has a bag containing a Knighthood, an OBE and a Life Peerage. Three wealthy businessmen then donate suitcases full of used notes in a bid to win one of the prizes.

Lord Levy and Ruth Turner have already been evicted from the Labour Party.

BIG BROTHER HAS NO BRAINS: ITS OFFICIAL

In a related but unrelated happening, Channel Four have gone for a novel approach to their new Big Brother series and only used contestants who have no brains. Spokesman for the show Mr Geordie Voiceover said “previous contestants had had no morals, no sense and no intelligence, so why not go the whole hog and have people with no brains. The added advantage is that it reflects the make up of our audience”