GIVE THE DOG A BALL

Staying with football, Jose Mourinho was arrested this week after police tried to take his dog into quarantine. The two year old Yorkshire Terrier called “Ruble”, was seen to elbow a policeman in the face and take a dive whilst out for a walk in the park. Mourinho however, saw nothing and described the police as being “biased against my dog. What about Ferguson’s Shiatsu or Wenger’s Affenpinscher . Why pick on me?” Mourinho, who has about as much chance of winning the FA Cup as a mongrel at Crufts, was cautioned and sent to his kennel. Ivor Bigbankbalance, Chelsea’s Russian Chairman, said that if Mourinho was not back at his job on Monday, he would be “neutered”, which is Russian for “sacked”.