SPLITS AND SPATS

The world of rock and roll was shocked today when it was announced that the world famous “Independents” were splitting up. At a press conference held in the famous “Bakers Oven” rock bar in King Street, Councillor George Elsom (soap box) and Councillor Terry Haram (soap board) said they were leaving the group for “artistic” reasons. Whilst the “Independents” had been together for an unprecedented 20 minutes, George felt it was time for a change. “Basically we have been plagued with internal wranglings since we formed the group, and the lack of chart success didn’t help. I knew things were over when “Waggott and The Cohorts” got the number one spot again for the umpteenth time in a row. Haram was also equally angry with the way things had worked out. “Ringo Starr rang me” said Terry “and said that I was becoming “that other one in the group” who had no free will and couldn’t think for himself. So I rang George to ask what to do, he told me what to do and I did it.”

Elsom and Haram have no plans for any recordings at the moment. “We plan a tour of Cleadon Park and Whiteleas some time in the summer” offered George “and closer to the next election we will re release some old political ideas”

Jane Branley, lead singer with the “Independents” was scathing of George. “He never really fitted in to the scene. His ideas were different; he didn’t have any cottages in France or a successful business bringing in other incomes. He was just a loner really. Once when we were on tour doing gigs in the Beacon and Bents Ward, he fell out with himself whilst being in a room on his own. I also remember once after an election he wouldn’t drink any champagne or eat the venison. I mean, call yourself a councillor and not drink champagne? It’s ludicrous.”

Music collectors have been quick to note that the famous “Razzamatazz Van”, used on the million selling “Sgt Elsoms Lonely Two Man Band” LP, is for sale on eBay for 80p, including post and packing.