NEW ALLIANCE OF COUNCILLORS WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY SUPPORT

The Independent Progressive Alliance of Former Labour Councillors Who Weren’t Having Enough Attention Paid To Their Ego’s By Other Councillors Especially That Fellow Waggot (IPAFLCWWHEAPTTEBOCETFW for short) have announced their candidate roster for the Borough’s wards.

CLEADON/EAST BOLDON
John, Paul, Ringo and George

BEACON AND BENTS
Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick And Tich

BIDDICK AND ALL SAINTS
Pew, Hue, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub

PRIMROSE
George, Zippy, Bungle

BEDE
Pingu (unchallenged)

HARTON
The Waltons

CLEADON PARK
The Flintstones

BOLDON COLLIERY
The Waggots

In a separate development, several people have fallen into George Elsom’s mouth whilst he was out campaigning against everything.

Asked for a press quote, the Branleys were unavailable for comment as they were in the Cayman Islands counting their money.