THE SUNDAY ROAST

NOW THE PARTY’S OVER…..

Despite devoting several pages of coverage in their Saturday equivalents, the Sunday’s are still mulling over the results of Thursday’s elections. Most agree that Cameron did better than was originally hoped and that Blair has left the party in a worse position than he took it over in. Whilst Tony may not have been given the leaving present of his choice (more a Mickey Mouse watch than gold plated Rolex) he will claim that he left them in government with a more than workable majority. It is left to the Sunday Times however, to pose the inevitable question; will Cameron be able to follow it through or will Brown bounce back? Their analysis of Thursday’s vote as it would relate to a national election would put the Tory leader in No 10 with a majority of 50+ seats. However, not everybody votes at national level as they do in mid term regionals, so the position may be closer than at first thought, perhaps even a hung parliament. The bigger question may not relate to Brown’s ability to “bounce”, but more to the English acceptance of a presiding Scottish PM whom his electorate have no ability to remove. History tells us that England doesn’t like Scottish kings, north or south of the border. At its roots this is an important constitutional issue, a one which I hope Cameron doesn‘t ignore.

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY

In order to get the blood boiling on a lazy Sunday morning, the Sunday Times have ran a front page article worthy of April fools day magnitude.

The Thomas Deacon City Academy in Peterborough, Cambridge is to be built at a cost of £46.4 m to service 2200 pupils. Nothing is to be spared, that is apart from a playground! In an establishment which is going to have about as much fun as Colditz, children are to be treated as “employees”,

“We are not intending to have any play time” said Alan McMurdo, the head teacher “pupils won’t need to let of steam because they will not be bored”….Staff insist that it will have the added benefit of avoiding pupils falling victim to playground bullies”

School meals have also been subject to a management make over, with Mr McMurdo commenting that;

“Pupils will be able to hydrate during the learning experience”

Clearly, Mr McMurdo is the product of to many focus groups, risk assessment programmes and John Burt-like seminars. He should be locked up in Guantanamo Bay and forced to watch the “St Trinian” films and old episodes of “Please Sir” and “Grange Hill”.

Putting marbles, hop scotch and chalking on walls to one side, I thought being a child at school was meant to encapsulate a fun and learning environment. By taking away school play time you are taking away an essential part of child hood. What will emerge from this ridiculous politically driven mess will be a generation of young adults unable to interact amongst themselves and with the individuality of a robot car production line. As this is one of Blair’s flag ship projects perhaps that is what he wants as his cabinet of drones at No 10 clearly have never ran amok in the school yard.

FOUR OUT OF SIX VOTERS ARE WRONG….

One regional newspaper asked six randomly chosen people their views on voting and elections. Four out of the six said they couldn’t be bothered to vote as Labour would get in anyway. Well, in South Tyneside they did, and it’s this attitude which allows them to run the region like a corporate working men’s club. Whilst only being a tiny sample of voter intention, it does account for the 65% of the electorate who for some reason constantly fail to turn up at the polling centres.

HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW….

It’s nice to see that the culture of litigation hasn’t completely taken over this country. The Sunday Sun covers the story of a farmer in Kirby Lonsdale whose organic crop of asparagus was ploughed into oblivion by a contractor who ended up in the wrong field. Owner of the crop Mr Hadwins said philosophically “It’s obviously a shame, but you have to see the funny side of things sometimes…. We’ve had much worse things to deal with, like foot and mouth”. Well done Mr Hadwins, with no mention of the courts or suing at all in the article, you have restored my faith in human nature, unlike the fellow below…..

IF YOU CAN’T BEAT THEM, TAKE THEM TO COURT

A story which many of the Sunday’s missed due to deadlines but covered in some later editions is the fact that despite being soundly pummelled in Scotland, like a petulant child Labour are planning on taking the SNP to court too challenge the legality of the vote.

Former Minister Allan Wilson, narrowly beaten in the Cunninghame North seat by the SNP’s Kenneth Gibson (there was only 48 votes in it) is seeking a legal challenge on the grounds of the number of invalid ballot papers. Just a minute Allan, surely you don’t mean the ballot papers which your party designed in the hope that people would find it so complicated that the SNP would loose out on the second preference section?

Petulant, arrogant, hypocritical, bad loser; all terms which come to mind when describing Scottish Labour!